


Damn you and your bourgeosie coffee

by daisydisaster



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/M, Soulmates AU, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-19
Updated: 2016-08-29
Packaged: 2018-05-15 01:23:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5766562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisydisaster/pseuds/daisydisaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Pansy's a Forbes-Richest-30-Under-30 clad in designer snakeskin topped with a silver tongue and a silver spoon, and she's somehow the person destined for Harry</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Preview

7:55 and Pansy Parkinson was running down the streets of Midtown in her custom Louboutin snakeskin heels.

Turning the corner on 5th and Broadway she can just see the godawful top of the New York Times building where she has to be for a meeting with some reporter that couldn't be bothered to meet her at her office. Frankly it's insulting, she's the highest paid woman under 30 and she has to meet some underpaid Harvard drop-out who will most likely compare her to Paris Hilton and accuse her of riding her now-incarcerated-father's coattails to get where she is. **Fan-fucking-tastic.**

She’s sprinting past old business men and fanny-packed tourists in her too tall heels and too short skirt when she crashes into him.  

His eyes burn like the coffee that’s now running down her legs.

 

“Watch where you're going **princess** “

“First of all- **how. dare. you.** “ is the first thing that pops into Pansy’s head.

 

She’s tired, and hungry, and her feet hurt then this _little shit_ has to nerve to get all self righteous when he was the one who had just spilt coffee on her shoes.

 

“You’re the one who just spilled your atrocious pretentious hipster coffee all over my legs.

You didn’t even ask if I hurt myself when its a commonly accepted fact that Starbucks brews their coffee to 212 degrees and third degree burns occur after 6 second exposure to 140 degree water. You don't even have a lid on your coffee and you're acting like its my fault" "Now I'm going to be late to my work which is obviously something _you_ wouldn't understand seeing as you don't brush your hair. Thanks a lot, and have fun with your misogynistic-Jack Kerouc reading-tasteless-nouveau riche-mongrel self"

 

"Damn you and your bourgeosie coffee!" is the last thing she says before she huffs off. 

 

 

 

 **Damn you and your bourgeosie coffee** is what Harry has down his right bicep in sharp, clear handwriting. 


	2. Chapter One- What is a Soulmate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Harry James Potter was born to the House of Potter and therefore not Bourgeoisie, thank you very much. He had a trust fund in the millions, and went to Eton. His Mother was Prince George's Godmother for godsake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO sorry for late update. I'd planned on updating regularly but the universe fucks with all of us and I got a brain injury.
> 
> Also not finished with this chapter but can't figure out how to unpost it

The thing about Soulmarks, is that you never quite know what it means. The most common type to have is words, but of course there are people with images or patterns. Just about anything you can think of, exists some way as a Soulmark.  
Even among words there's diversity, which makes it complicated to find your Soulmate. Some people have the words their Soulmate will first say to them- which is pretty straight forward, but some people have the last ones. Another common one is to have the words your Soulmate says to you when you realize you're in love with them. That's the most prized kind, because the idea of slowly falling in love with someone only to find out that they're your Soulmate is thought to be highly romantic. While they're rare, they dominate the romance business. The last type of words there is, is the thing that your Soulmate says that sticks out the most. Sometimes this is just the first thing they say other than "Hi", but for others it's the most memorable thing they say.

And unfortunately, this means 1.5% of the population ends with some version of "Fuck Off!" written on their body. 

When Harry James Potter was born, his two parents wept with joy that their son had a Soulmark even as crass as it might be.  
While Lily and James Potter shared an identical picture Soulmark of deer, many were not as blessed. Lily's sister was not born with a Soulmark and neither was her disagreeable husband. The Markless trait ran in Lily's family, and the Potter's were concerned Harry would be the same way. 

For the first sixteen years of Harry's life, his Soulmark was a running joke. 

His Godfather, Sirius, thought it was the funniest thing to happen since Lily pushed James into a squid tank.  
For Harry's 7th birthday, he bought him an abhorrent coffee maker that could only be described as bourg. It even had the Potter Crest gilded on it. 

Sirius also took it upon himself to introduce Harry to all things bourgeois. Little Harry always got some sort of waistcoat or a book on banking for Christmas. Once he went as far as to purchase Harry a solid gold coffee cup. Sirius had an odd sense of humor, he always said he got it from his mother. 

 

James and Lily thought their sons Soulmark was funny too.  
When he was first born, Lily's friends would call to see how she was doing.  
"Oh Lily! Congratulations! How is the little angel doing? Is he perfect?" is what her friend Marlene telephoned to say.  
She was quite surprised when the beaming mother responded with, "Oh you know, he's a little bourgeois for my taste"

His Grandparents were appalled "Bourgeoisie!" Fleamont heaved. "I'll have you know that the Potter family is one of the oldest and most respected! Queen Elizabeth asked _Euphemia_ for advice on proper attire for an afternoon tea in Baghdad and someone has the gall to call us bourgeois?" 

Mr. Weasley wanted clarification "What exactly is the function of bourgeoisie coffee?" 

This of course changed, when Harry's Uncle Remus started a bookstore and he hired Harry to work afternoons after football practice behind the coffee counter. Then every night it was "Well son, did any plutocrats come in demanding coffee?" from James followed by a hissed "James!" accompanied with an elbow from Lily.

Harry worked in the coffee business for six years, until he was twenty two and a University graduate. Everyday, he'd wait for a beautiful angry customer to come in, demanding a refund or something. It wasn't that he was especially desperate for a Soulmate, he actually got the job at Remus's because Cho Chang worked there too, but he was looking forward to meeting the person who apparently thought a caffeinated beverage had to do with social class AND happened to have enough positive traits to be his soulmate.

On the day that Harry James Potter met his Soulmate, he had happened to have moved to New York the week previous. For someone that owned more than 38 coffee makers (Thanks Sirius), Harry had not unpacked a single one and therefore had no coffee.  
He had recently been hired as a new reporter for the New York Times. He had been hired for the sports section, but Susan Bones who usually handled the business section had called out sick and no one else wanted to deal with "The Parkinson Harpy" so the newest recruit had to face her. That was Harry, by the way.


End file.
